Our free soundware round-up series is back with one of the largest lists of free audio loops and samples to date. Some of the highlights include high-quality vocal samples, a sampled grand piano in SFZ format, and a huge collection of drum machine sounds. Check out the best soundware freebies for January/February 2017 below and we’ll… Read More
A good while ago I decided to not post anything really political or too personal here on my website. People that know me personally know that I’m a “political thinking person” (or so), so this is in my system at all times, among other things that I talk about in a minute. I generally care for this planet and what happens on and to it. Today, I decided to be quite open about something, probably just for that one time.
I know a thing or two about narcissistic sociopaths.
Please, know that I feel deeply ashamed of what I have to tell you now.
My father was an extreme narcissistic sociopath, combined with an extreme intelligence. I can hear you thinking: DANGER! And yes, you’re absolutely right. I’m sorry to have to admit that my father was a very dangerous man to many people surrounding him, me included. He was super-manipulative, a notorious but very smart liar, he cheated, he didn’t allow anyone to criticize him, he was sadistic, up to an extent that he really enjoyed “breaking” someone, and everything he did was only for his advantage. He liked to especially “break” me, because he considered me being his one real “competitor”, as I was from his blood. In his perception, his “own” son (he really owned me, I was his property) could have been the only one that could seriously challenge him. He loved to attack me on a daily basis, or at least whenever he could. It wasn’t exactly helpful that I’m a rebel by nature and a very strong personality myself. Actually, it did help, but you know what I mean.
I was so afraid of my father that I only needed to hear his big-ass Mercedes S-Class entering the driveway to our house when he came home at night, that my body — especially my legs — began shaking for no obvious physical reason. I didn’t feel cold or something like that. My legs just shook. His pure vicinity and existence scared the shit out of me. I knew he would be near me within a few minutes, attacking me again. Never physically, by the way. He was a psychological perpetrator.
I used to write diaries when I was a juvenile, and I wrote all my feelings down in them (alongside drawings), and one day — he “knew” I was very mad at him — he sort of raided my entire room (when I was at school) to find my diary. And he did, of course. It was full of insulting words for him, and he went ballistic. He took the diary to his attorney to deposit it there. I still don’t know why, and I never got the diary back. I think he wanted to have something against me in case I would sue him. My father was a very successful businessman who made a lot of money. I think he was paranoid about the thought that one day I would demand parts of his fortune.
His mental illness supported his success as a businessman substantially. He basically screwed everyone over and knew exactly which strings to pull at all times. Technically, he never made mistakes. He was like a machine, destroying others most effectively. I witnessed how he treated his staff many times, and I witnessed how he screwed his clients over. He perfectionized the art of manipulation and very “elegant” blackmailing. He fucked people over with a self-righteous smile on his face, feeling great about it, praising himself in that very moment he just killed someone’s life or existence, or broke someone’s heart. He was the big man, the king of an illusionary kingdom, the Donald Trump in my life.
Women had to fill a very classical role in his life. They had to prepare and serve food, they had to look good and willing to please him sexually, and most importantly: they had to be by his side as a living decoration of his greatness. Woman = trophy. Ideally, they would keep their mouths shut, unless he demanded to open it. Needless to say, he cheated on every woman he has ever been with, my mother included.
Luckily, this made me a feminist. 🙂
His abusive behavior made other people seriously sick, and he had zero empathy for anyone but himself. He considered himself to be a victim, in general, just like Donald Trump. Everyone was unfair and dishonest to him, no one treated him the way he deserved. Nothing was good enough for him, no matter how hard I (or anybody else) tried. Not much more than a heartless “not too bad” came out of his mouth, whenever I did something actual great. His son, I, was a worthless piece of shit that only fed on his achievements, resources and money. I had to prove literally everything on a daily basis, in order to “earn” his attention. Of course, I failed to 99.99%.
The most hurtful moment must have been when I had my first real gig as a drummer, in front of 2,000 people. He sat in the first row in the audience (to my surprise, he showed up). After the gig, the crowd gave us standing ovations and frenetic applause. My father was the only person that kept sitting, not applauding, not even smiling. Nothing. He was disgusted by my success and that I was very good at something that people admired and respected. My heart, that he had pissed on countless times before, was in a trillion pieces. On that day I really started to feel nothing but hate for him.
He could praise other people over the moon, though, when what they did meant something to his advantage. Or when someone expressed his admiration for him. Then this person was “the best ever”, Trump-style.
My father died early from another severe (physical) illness that he suffered from for a long time. I wasn’t ashamed then and I am not now when I say: it was a salvation for everyone, especially me. My father was a dark shadow in my life. He still continues to haunt me.
I will, most probably, never get rid of the sadness inside of me when I think about everything I said above. I’m sad that I had such a father, and it doesn’t stop to hurt that I have to talk about him like that. I wish I would have had a father to be proud of, but most importantly: a father proud of me. Instead, I have always been his #1 target, and I’m doomed to deal with this for the rest of my life.
Okay, enough about my father. I hope you understand now why this topic is important to me. The “free world” has a new leader since 20th January, 2017, and he is just like my father was, just on a much larger scale.
This is why I want to talk about the 25th Amendment, Section 4, to the Constitution of the United States of America. It goes like this:
Whenever the Vice President and a majority of either the principal officers of the executive departments or of such other body as Congress may by law provide, transmit to the President pro tempore of the Senate and the Speaker of the House of Representatives their written declaration that the President is unable to discharge the powers and duties of his office, the Vice President shall immediately assume the powers and duties of the office as Acting President.
Thereafter, when the President transmits to the President pro tempore of the Senate and the Speaker of the House of Representatives his written declaration that no inability exists, he shall resume the powers and duties of his office unless the Vice President and a majority of either the principal officers of the executive department or of such other body as Congress may by law provide, transmit within four days to the President pro tempore of the Senate and the Speaker of the House of Representatives their written declaration that the President is unable to discharge the powers and duties of his office. Thereupon Congress shall decide the issue, assembling within forty-eight hours for that purpose if not in session. If the Congress, within twenty-one days after receipt of the latter written declaration, or, if Congress is not in session, within twenty-one days after Congress is required to assemble, determines by two-thirds vote of both Houses that the President is unable to discharge the powers and duties of his office, the Vice President shall continue to discharge the same as Acting President; otherwise, the President shall resume the powers and duties of his office.
The relevant information is in bold letters. What I want to say is: According to numerous top psychologists, Donald Trump is mentally ill, suffering from a severe narcissistic personality disorder. Again, the world of scientists seems to be absolutely clear about that, it’s not an #alternativefact.
Here are my questions, and I’d be happy if you would give me answers, if possible:
- Can someone or an institution force Donald Trump to have his mental health checked? And if, who and how?
- Why has nobody done that already, and why didn’t anyone (or the constitution) request a general mental health check before someone gets inaugurated for such a high office?
I don’t get how this could happen, how the most powerful country on Earth has put someone into the Oval Office that is not mentally fit for this office. On the other hand I see a process like the one stated above as the most realistic and fastest way to remove Trump from office.
Mike Pence, despite the fact how much I disagree with him politically, seems to be at least a somewhat sane person. We can have political disagreements with people, but it’s another thing when someone is living out his symptoms of his mental illness. That is putting the entire world in danger…. just like my father fucked up my life when I was young.
The world needs to remove this sick man from office. Urgently.
And so all day this Friday, February 3rd (starting at 12:01am Pacific Time), for any purchase you make on Bandcamp, we will be donating 100% of our share of the proceeds to the American Civil Liberties Union, who are working tirelessly to combat these discriminatory and unconstitutional actions.
The American Civil Liberties Union is a non-profit organization whose stated mission is “to defend and preserve the individual rights and liberties guaranteed to every person in this country by the Constitution and laws of the United States.” Short: they were the ones that sued Donald Trump, and they deserve all our support. Plus, you get some great music.
Here’s something to get you started with, my latest album from 2014:
85% of what you pay for my music will go to me. Also not a bad thing, if you ask me. 😉 Thank you!