This is (by far) the most accurate description of Germans. Ever. And you really need to read this before being able to understand what I say below. Unless you’re German (which will make you sort of finding yourself in this text by an Australian woman living in Germany).

A lot of this (not all!) is totally me. Despite some really old and traditional stuff that I really a) don’t understand — even as a German myself — and also therefore don’t like. But see, this is German again: I don’t do things that doesn’t make sense to me.

Yes, I’m very German. I REALLY like effectiveness, working long, hard and systematic. Yes, I’m a very direct person, and I only like to talk when it (seems to) make sense. A lot of people think I’m an asshole because I say things into their face. “Can’t take it? Your problem.”. That’s how I roll, seems to be very German.

Yes, and I always said that, despite all those false accusations: Germans have a great sense of humour. And yes, we Germans do a lot of things better than a lot of other people in the world. There’s just one big thing that made me decide to leave my country:

For Germans something is never enough, no matter how good it is. There is always something to be negative and bitching about. When you’re unsuccessful you’re nobody, when you’re successful, you’re an asshole. There’s nothing in between. Germans are very judgemental, quick when it comes to applauding someone to heaven, and even quicker to hammer someone down to hell. And believe me: I’ve been at both places.

And the worst about all of this? At times I’m not a bit better than this, I have inherited a lot of this myself, and I’m really busy to get rid of that. But there it is again: admitting shit like this is very German, too.

Say something, preferably nice...