dogs Archives • INGO VOGELMANN

Interview With Myself (And Then You)

13 February 202313 February 2023Leave a comment

I did this many years ago, and here is a very recent (2023) version.

The template for this comes from here:

33 Questions For An Interview With Yourself

Feel free to pick this up and do it yourself. Link back to this post, so I can see it.

1. What Do You Do for a Living?

Well, the fact that you ended up here means you already know at least part of the answer. I’m a music producer, composer and sound engineer, mainly. I work for myself, so I make my own music, and I work for others whose music I either write and produce or edit.

I also have a “day job” that feeds me reliably and pays the bills, because I could no longer make a living from music alone. That used to be different, but unfortunately, that’s the way it is today. But I really like my second job. I work with great people, and I can do my work in a relatively free and creative way. I am a marketing manager and board member in the textile industry. There is no good reason to complain.

2. Who Do You Love?

Okay, then I’ll be completely honest. You asked for it.

I love my friends, some of whom I’ve had for a very long time, and my partner and our dogs. To put it succinctly to the point.

Of course, the issue is more complicated.

I have a big and fucked up family history that could be described as broken. In this respect, love is not dripping from every crack. I love certain people in this family in a certain way, but that’s more through blood ties and shared history than through actual actions in life. No one in my family covered themselves in glory.

And I’m not good at forgiveness, one of my many flaws.

3. Do You Have Enough Money?

Yes and no. The question is: what for? Money doesn’t make you happy, but not having money can make you unhappy.

I have more than enough to survive and spend some money on things that are fun and only money can buy. The best things don’t cost anything.

But I don’t have enough to finance certain things that I would like to do. On the other hand, I don’t want to get any investors on board either. Been there, done that. Didn’t work out so well.

But it doesn’t matter. I’m fine, and my energy for certain activities, which I have in mind, is not as great as it was 10 years ago.

4. Are You Healthy?

I think I’m a medical miracle. My father died when he was 48. At the moment I’m 50 years old and miraculously never really seriously ill, quite fit, and with a lifestyle that hasn’t necessarily always been very healthy.

I gave up smoking years ago and now only drink very moderately. I exercise regularly, make sure I get enough sleep and eat very well.

I have no physical health problem. I am very thankful for that. But I’ve struggled with depression my whole life. This varies widely, from years of nothing to sudden, complete darkness.

It cannot be controlled without medication. It is what it is, I can’t change anything about it. Being open about it — like right now — always helps.

5. Do You Think You Are a Good Person?

A good old friend once said, “You are who you make yourself out to be”. In every human being is the potential to be everything, good, bad and everything in between. The question is: What is good and what is evil? By what standards?

I think if we look at the general norms of society, I’m probably a pretty okay guy.

“I am not a ‘wise man,’ nor … shall I ever be. And so, require not from me that I should be equal to the best, but that I should be better than the wicked. It is enough for me if every day I reduce the number of my vices and blame my mistakes.”
Roman Stoic, Seneca

6. How Old Are You?

50, right now. It’s 2023. I don’t care about age, it means nothing.

My eyesight is the same as it was 35 years ago, but my hearing is worse. After changing my diet and a few other things in my life, I no longer have joint pain and feel great.

I’m still as forgetful as I was in first grade, and I still have exactly the same difficulty concentrating because I’m still easily distracted. The only difference to young Ingo is that today I don’t get spanked for it anymore.

7. Who’s Your Best Friend?

I don’t have one single best friend; I wouldn’t like such a ranking of people in my life. I have a handful of very close friends who are like brothers to me, all of whom are very different and mostly don’t know each other. But they all have one thing in common: They suit me extraordinarily well and are all a little or even more crazy.

8. What’s Your Childhood Dream?

I wanted to be a rock star. I missed that a little bit.

9. How Often Do You Laugh?

I don’t know how many times a day or week, but I laugh quite a bit.

I don’t take myself and life too seriously. Everything begins and ends at some point, and then it probably starts all over again. And we can only do our best, fail and succeed.

Laughter is always a tried and tested means for me to deal with this life and its turmoil. When all else fails, humor works.

10. What Makes You Smile?

I take things that I cannot change with a smile.

If someone teases me or threatens me, I answer that with a weary smile.

I can be very sarcastic and then smile.

I smile warmly at people when I like them.

Good music with good sound makes me smile. All over the face.

11. Who’s Your Most Dangerous Enemy?

I have only one enemy, and that is myself. Anyone else who might consider themselves my enemy has no idea how dangerous the one I really have is.

12. Where Do You Live?

In a house with a garden and a pond in a small tranquil settlement in a small village near the highest mountains in Europe.

I can’t stand the heat; I love the coolness and the high quality of life here.

13. Do You Think You’re Strong?

I can be incredibly strong, and very weak. But in general, I’m pretty strong.

14. What Was the Most Important Thing You’ve Done So Far?

I honestly don’t know. Not even when I think about it for a long time.

Maybe I didn’t do anything important.

15. What Was the Most Stupid Thing You’ve Done So Far?

I shouldn’t have had certain relationships. Some big mistakes. I was young and looking for questionable things.

16. Do You Love Yourself?

Let me put it this way: Love, even for yourself, is hard to accept if you don’t feel worthy. At this point I have a deep-seated problem. But I am working on it.

17. What Do You Fear the Most?

I no longer fear much and the little that triggers something in me, not particularly badly either. Whatever life or the universe throws at me, I don’t give a fuck.

18. What Is Your Favorite Word?

Fuck.

19. When Was the Last Time You Cried?

I cry regularly. It’s good and important. I don’t cry for every shit, but there are things that really touch me and then I just cry.

20. What Is the Best Thing That Could Happen to You Right Now?

That I would be completely financially independent and finally only have time for the things I really want to do. And if it’s nothing.

21. What Is the Worst Thing That Could Happen to You Right Now?

Illness that would make me very dependent on others. That would be nothing for me.

22. Picture Yourself In 5 Years from Now

I have no fucking clue. Honestly.

23. Do You Regret Anything?

I regret a huge truck full of things. A whole convoy.

24. What’s The First Thing You Do in the Morning?

Pee, get on the scale, shower, brush my teeth, then my daily life begins. I never eat breakfast; I only have coffee.

25. What Are You Thinking Just Before Going to Bed?

This is totally variable and always something different. It depends on what happened or what lies ahead.

26. What Was the Highest Point You’ve Ever Been To?

Something around 3,000 meters.

27. If There’s One Thing in Your Life You Want to Change Right Now, What Is It?

I’m on a diet that’s going really well, but I’d like to get where I want to be faster.

28. What Are You Proud Of?

I am very proud of some of my musical works.

29. Sum Up Your Life in One Sentence

A wild, adventurous, fun and painful ride. For everyone involved.

30. Name The Thing That Annoys You the Most

I hate it when people whistle or smack their lips in public.

I don’t like unannounced visits or phone calls at all.

Overly affected friendliness gets on my nerves. I know … some people are just like that and they mean well, but I don’t like anything over the top.

31. What Is Your No 1 Question to God?

Why are you such a sadistic fuck?

32. Do You Have Secrets?

Of course. Like everyone else.

33. What Makes You Laugh?

My own clumsiness. I laugh best at myself, not at all at the misfortunes of others. I find it very indelicate to laugh at others.

34. Are You Happy?

I am content but not happy. I find life, this form of existence, too difficult and limited to be happy. I benevolently envy people who feel that kind of happiness, but I lack that ability. My partner is such a person, she has this lightness that I lack. Fortunately.

Again, feel free to pick this up and do it yourself. Link back to this post, so I can see it.

Be the Person Your Dog Thinks You Are

12 January 202312 January 20232 Comments

My doggy girl, Wilma, was the love of my life. She did not only believe in me, but she was also the one being on the planet within my lifetime who believed in me the most. She gave me everything she had and more. Because that’s what she wanted, just give me everything to make me feel good.

I am tearing up as I write these words. I haven’t been able to talk about it for a very long time, and it’s still difficult for me now.

She died on August 31, 2012, aged 12, full of cancer. That was the worst day of my entire life. And the deep sorrow for her never left me. It’s not as present as it used to be, but it hasn’t gone away at all. I have regular moments when this sadness overruns me like a steamroller.

I miss her terribly, every damn day.

In your dog’s eyes, the sun revolves around you, you are the center of the universe, everything depends on you. There is nothing you can do wrong, for your dog you are the absolute perfection and the benchmark for everything. Even abused dogs “love” their owners … even if they mostly fear them. Subordinate wolves in packs do this too.

I wasn’t always the perfect dog dad, but she forgave me for every mistake. She has always adapted her few, simple needs to my many, complicated needs. And no, food wasn’t her first priority. The biggest thing for her was spending time with me, being outside with me, spending time in nature, playing and frolicking.

I saved Wilma and she saved me. In fact, she has saved me more times than I have saved her. I saved her once; she saved me countless times. She asked me to keep going every time I wanted to end it all. The responsibility I felt towards her kept me from doing so. She also taught me humility and gratitude, and she made me grow up. She has made me more cautious, smarter, more responsible and less vain. In short, she made me a better person. Would that have happened without her? No, not to this extent.

I wasn’t the perfect human being that she saw in me, but I always wanted to be. I’m not that good with people, to be honest, because I can’t trust people. People have disappointed me too many times from my earliest childhood. “Performing” in company is very difficult for me and costs me a lot of energy. I’ve learned to go through the world with a mask so that nobody notices how I’m really doing, but I would prefer a world with far fewer people and more animals.

I’ll never forget the day when I stood in front of the first kennel at the shelter, and this pitch-black ball with these weird glasses — she had no hair around the eyes because of zinc deficiency — looked at me. We fell in love in milliseconds. I knew: this dog or none. Now! An hour later — she fit in my hand — she was lying on my chest, that little black ball someone had simply thrown away and nobody wanted because she was black and supposed to become rather big. A potential “problem dog”.

To me she was perfect, and she proved to be an absolutely exceptional dog as she grew. Sure, every dog owner says that about their dog … but really: anyone who knew Wilma knows what I’m talking about. She was VERY special, friendly, beautiful looking, had a very own character, incredibly intelligent to a point where she was scary, at times. Very human-like. And everyone loved her because she was a happy dog that loved humans, although she has been treated like shit by humans when she was a baby.

I finally wrote this down, more than 10 years after her death, and it’s still all very difficult for me. I think it’s good, maybe it eases my heart. There are 2 new dogs in my life recently, for whom I am also a hero, and they also make me a better Ingo every day … but Wilma is everywhere. I see, smell and feel her everywhere, she is omnipresent.

And when the two new heartthrobs look at me, she looks at me through them, telling me to keep on going and become better every day.

Cleo, a Great Dane. Patient, good-natured, playful, likes harmony and is very filigree despite her immense size, somehow.

Max and me — Max, a spanish-everything-mix, found abandoned and rescued. He’s very attached to me and quite vocal and expressive. An emotional and outgoing type.

Why I Abandoned Social Media

7 November 20222 February 20233 Comments

When social media became “the new thing” and every artist was recommended to join the hype, I was very skeptical at first. I came late to the party of the two top dogs, Twitter in 2007, Facebook only in 2009, after the pressure on me from all sides grew too great. At least that’s how it felt to me at the time, or what I told myself… but there’s a good chance I just had the same need for recognition as everyone else and was afraid of missing out and not being recognized appropriately. As you grow older, fortunately that disappears.

Instagram was about photography once

I thought Instagram was pretty good at first… the filters looked cool and it was more about the photos than anything else. Until Facebook took over and turned it into a drug for people with an inferiority complex.

Anti-Social Media

I’ve never really felt comfortable with anti-social media, and I’ve also struggled to generate huge followings. There were decent numbers lately, but not enormous. That may have something to do with the fact that my audience has a rather limited affinity for social media. Something like that always has a direct connection with the kind of music you make.

In all these years, I have experienced everything on social media that internet experts and psychologists are now warning of: abuse, hate, completely pointless and unnecessary discussions, exposing the private to the public (something I don’t like at all) and a very stupid thing: living out conflicts in public, in front of people you don’t really know.

Necessary for artists?

For a long time, I myself succumbed to the belief that as an artist you have to be present on social media in order to be and remain relevant. A few years ago, I severely restricted my activity there. And what happened? You guess it:

Nothing. People consumed my music the same as before. All of a sudden, I had more time for what really mattered and less headaches from some poor souls annoying me online.

At the time, people were already asking me to post more and “stick with it”. I shouldn’t leave the field to “them”. I stopped believing early in life that I could make the world a better place by trying to convert people, so I didn’t comply with those requests. People tend to believe what makes them feel good, not what is closest to the truth. That’s why public discussion is really not my world. I’m too much of a realist, and I don’t like having a lot of people around me either in real life or virtually.

When blogging was a thing

Before I jumped on the social media bandwagon, I was a relatively avid blogger. I’ve always been a political person and liked to write about social criticism, of course music-related and generally about my random thoughts. Because of social media, actual blogging made no sense to me anymore, so I stopped.

It wasn’t always about the public discussion; I felt the need to share my thoughts. Today I only have this need very slightly, and if I have to get rid of my thoughts, then in my private environment or of course in and with my music.

What now?

But there are things I want to tell you every now and then. I definitely still have thoughts for which music is not the right means of communication. I would like to use this website exclusively for this purpose in the future. If you’re interested, you can stop by here, subscribe to the feed, or have posts delivered to your inbox.

I’ll be 50 years old in a few weeks. The time for bullshit is long gone. When you’re young, it’s totally okay, understandable, and normal to engage in bullshit. I did that extensively and learned a lot from it. I don’t blame anyone for hanging out and being active on social media. Everyone does what they think they have to do.

My time has come to only take care of myself, my loved ones, my music and my affairs. I live a meaningful life with a lot of things in it that deserve and need my attention. And none of this has anything to do with social media or networks of this kind.

Good-bye bullshit

I turned my back on social media because it brings out the worst in people. It’s antisocial media. And now an egomaniac who poses as if he wants to save the world or humanity has bought Twitter. The hand puppet Zuckerberg was enough, now that?

I had more than enough reasons to delete my profiles altogether. No more “social” networks. Anyone who is interested in me is welcome here on this website.

I've stripped my entire digital life down to the bare essentials. No unnecessary apps on my smartphone or computer. I'm no longer afraid of missing out. I experienced and saw most of what I wanted to experience and see. And for everything that is still there, I still have enough time.

I may have gotten a bit older and gray, maybe gained some weight, lost hair, but I’m still fit and have a never-ending bucket list. I spend most of my free time outdoors in nature, with my partner and the dogs, hiking, adventures, enjoying the beauty of nature, shooting photos and videos. My artistic soul still pours itself into music as well. I’ll let you know here on this website if there’s anything new.

I have many good reasons to be happy. I’m not always that, but there are still good reasons for it. I have everything I need and more. You too.

I don’t need social media. Neither do you. But it’s up to you to determine that. I will be here waiting for you. 😉

UPDATE from 2 February 2023 by Zizi Papacharissi

Source: www.niemanlab.org/2022/12/platforms-are-over/

Platforms are on life support. Alternative AI interfaces are on the rise. Meta is shifting emphasis away from Facebook to AR- and VR-enabled portals for interaction. Mastodon is emerging as a friendlier, smaller-scale (for now) antidote to the mass interaction most platforms foster. Twitter has transitioned from serving as the PR instrument of President Trump to the pet project of a billionaire. People have begun to exit platforms en masse, leaving behind zombie accounts with many followers and no activity. They download content and lock up accounts. It almost feels like they’re locking up house and leaving hostile territory, hoping possibly to return when things are normal again, whatever that may mean. The people are leaving; the bots keep gaining ground.