people, emotions, feelings

The Exasperating Trilogy of Modern Speech: Upspeak, Vocal Fry, and the ‘Like’ Epidemic

Modern communication – a brilliant, marvelous tapestry weaved with an array of eloquent sounds, linguistic acrobatics, and… upspeak, vocal fry, and the incessant use of “like”. The grand opera of language has been hijacked by these three renegade stars, ensuring every sentence sounds like a question, a dying engine, or a Facebook algorithm’s dream.

Upspeak: The Question that Never Ends

Upspeak is fascinating in its ability to leave listeners in a perpetual state of suspense. Imagine listening to a thrilling murder mystery where every sentence ends on a cliffhanger. Now, apply that to every conversation in your life. Every declarative statement, every assertion is turned into an open-ended question. The suspense, initially thrilling, soon becomes like a song stuck on loop – it’s fun at first, then it starts to grate on your nerves.

Moreover, upspeak can undermine the speaker’s authority and credibility. In professional settings, constant questioning inflections can signal uncertainty or a lack of confidence. It’s as if the speaker is continually seeking validation, which can be quite irksome when you’re looking for decisive, assertive communication.

Example:

This linguistic accident has become pretty popular among the younger demographic. Gone are the days of confident, assertive statements. Instead, we’re now serenaded by a constant stream of interrogatives. Whether you’re ordering coffee or presenting a groundbreaking scientific discovery, with upspeak, everything sounds like you’re asking for directions to the nearest surf shop.

Vocal Fry: The Groan that Grows on You

Vocal fry is the audio equivalent of nails on a chalkboard for some. That low, creaky vibration that has become extremely popular is grating to the ear, especially when it’s used excessively. It makes conversations sound tedious and monotonous, sucking the energy out of interactions.

Furthermore, the overuse of vocal fry can come across as affectation, an attempt to emulate celebrities or fit into a certain image. This pretense is quite irritating, especially when it masks genuine emotion and intonation. It also impacts the clarity of speech, making it challenging to follow a conversation.

Example:

I find this also extremely well and funny acted.

Vocal fry is fabulous for those who want to add a touch of mystery to their persona. Why sound enthusiastic or lively when you can emulate a bored crocodile, right? Nothing screams ‘I’m interested in this conversation’ quite like making every word sound like an effort.

The Everlasting “Like”

Finally, we come to the pièce de résistance of modern linguistic quirks: the excessive use of “like.” No longer satisfied with its humble origins as a preposition or a verb, “like” has metamorphosed into a filler word, a verbal crutch that has lodged itself firmly in the lexicon of the masses.

And why not? Why say, “I went to the store,” when you can say, “I was like, going to the store”? Why describe things as they are when you can add a few extra “likes” to ensure your listener has the time to zone out, make a sandwich, and plan their weekend getaway in the time it takes for you to finish your sentence?

Example:

They do this in every episode. “Like” … “like” … “like” … “like” … “like” … “like” …

Perhaps the most charming aspect of this trend is how “like” robs sentences of their impact. “I’m scared” is a clear, powerful statement. “I’m, like, scared?” Well, that just leaves room for doubt. Are you scared, or are you “like” scared? Is this a genuine emotion or are we in simile territory?

So?

Upspeak, vocal fry, and the overuse of “like” are less of charming idiosyncrasies and more of constant tests to our auditory endurance. They are the linguistic equivalent of running nails across a chalkboard, an endless loop of linguistic calamities that prickle our nerves and boggle our minds.

Upspeak, with its insistent questioning, shreds the fabric of assertive communication, leaving in its wake a trail of needless uncertainty. Vocal fry, on the other hand, grates against the harmony of conversation, replacing the musicality of varied intonations with a monotonous drone that could bore even the most patient listeners.

And then we have “like,” the reigning monarch of verbal fillers. Its relentless presence in every sentence, every phrase, is a testament to our collective inability to utter a single coherent thought without resorting to linguistic crutches. It’s a constant, gnawing distraction that turns even the simplest of narratives into a labyrinth of superfluous words.

These linguistic trends, in their unyielding persistence, have managed to take the art of conversation, a dance of words and meanings, and turn it into an obstacle course of irritation and frustration. They’ve proven that language, in all its dynamic glory, is not immune to trends that test the limits of our patience and our fondness for effective communication.

So, here’s a plea to the speakers of the world: Let’s reclaim the beauty of language, the clarity of thought, and the assertiveness of well-formed sentences. Let’s bid adieu to the eternal question mark of upspeak, the sizzling ennui of vocal fry, and the relentless filler that is “like.” After all, isn’t it high time our conversations mirrored the richness and precision of our thoughts, instead of sounding like a broken record of linguistic annoyances?

person holding video camera

Are We Consuming Too Much Low-Effort Content?

There was a time when video footage of hilarious mishaps was a rare and valuable commodity. It was 1987, and every week on German television, viewers tuned in to “Pleiten, Pech und Pannen” (“Disasters, Bad Luck and Breakdowns”) hosted by a not-so-funny, but charmingly coiffed Max Schautzer. This was a show dedicated to sharing amateur footage of people’s embarrassing moments and mishaps. The audience then voted on the “funniest video of the week” and the winner walked away with the coveted “Golden Raven” trophy and some cold hard cash.

Back then, capturing these moments on video was like striking gold. Camcorders were an expensive luxury item, and it was rare to catch these moments on camera. Having a compilation of the best camcorder clips in one place was something special. But now, things are different.

Thanks to smartphones and social media, we can watch videos of people slipping on banana peels all day long. There’s an endless stream of videos on TikTok and Instagram, and we can scroll through them for hours on end. We’ve gone from limited supply to a never-ending stream of content.

But why are we so obsessed with these videos? Some might argue that our desire for this type of content has grown to ridiculous proportions, especially since March 2020. When the pandemic hit, millions of people found themselves stuck at home, bored, and unhappy. They turned to low-effort, easily consumable content to pass the time. Even with billions of people posting videos online, only a few are actually good enough to satisfy our insatiable appetite for entertainment.

As someone born in 1973, I remember a time when real life was the primary source of entertainment. I watched the world around me, not just on TV, but in the flesh. I knew how people reacted to real situations because I lived through them, not just watched them. But today’s young people might not be so lucky.

With so much content being created and consumed, what happens when reality becomes a distant memory? When the majority of our experiences come from consuming cultural content, what does that do to our perception of reality? Will we eventually lose touch with what’s truly important in life?

I guess consuming low-effort content in moderation can be a harmless source of entertainment — and I do it, too. Consuming too much of it can have negative impacts on an individual’s productivity, creativity, attention span, mental health, and empathy. We need to find a balance and prioritize consuming content that is meaningful and enriching.

So, next time you find yourself mindlessly scrolling through TikTok or Instagram, take a moment to think about what you’re consuming. Is it a reflection of reality or just another manufactured form of entertainment?

Scam Alert Letting Text on Black Background

“Free Download” Scam

Ugh, those “free download” apps that turn out to be nothing but scams. Infuriating! These sneaky software companies lure you in with promises of a “free download,” only to reveal later on that it’s just a limited or trial version. And the kicker? Once you want to continue using it, they hit you with a demand to buy a license or subscription.

It’s not only misleading, but also downright dishonest. These companies are preying on unsuspecting users who think they get a free app. They should be upfront about the limitations of the “free” version and the costs associated with the full working version.

They’re using our time and attention to market their product, only to hit us with a paywall later. It’s disrespectful and shows a complete lack of consideration for other people.

Do yourself a favor and read the fine print before you hit that download button. Don’t let scammers take advantage of you and your time and energy.