TRUMPERLATIVES

Check this out: TRUMPERLATIVES

I set up this tumblr blog — out of fun — a few months ago to take Trump’s use of language ad absurdum (he mostly uses superlatives, I call them “Trumperlatives”). His superlative-soaked tweets get auto-posted on this blog. Which is almost every single tweet he posts.

The blog has 1,200 followers, with about 30 daily added. None of the 1,200 people understand the meaning of the blog, but alarmingly, all 1,200 think the blog would exist to honor Trump. The tagline even says:

A very good blog honoring the terrific and most amazing superlatives (that God has ever created) tweeted by Donald Trump in an absolute tremendous way. You have never seen anything like this before. It’s great!

But you still don’t get it, or anything, probably. Have you found your dick this morning?

To all 1,200 and following: you are wrong. I make fun of “your president,” and thus a little bit of his electorate, you. You don’t realize that. Your dumbness is hard to put into words.

12 Things You Should Never Say To a Musician

  1. So Are You Trying To Be A Musician

    I am a musician. Not trying. Trying to be a musician is watching the first YouTube video on how to hold a guitar. Not what I have done for the past 15 years. That is BEING a musician.

  2. You Sound Like…

    I know you’re trying to be nice by putting me in good company, but musicians want to feel original. We don’t want to hear we sound like everyone else. That we’re unoriginal. It’s fine for you to sell your friends on listening to someone new by comparing them to well known artists, but when talking to a musician, the best compliment is “you sound like YOU and it’s awesome.” Unless you’re talking to a pop producer, then yeah, “it sounds like Katy Perry” is probably the best compliment you could give.

  3. You Should Try Out For American Idol

    I will slap you.

  4. When Am I Going To Hear You On The Radio?

    When your radio plays better shit.

  5. You Should Be On The Voice

    Because that’s a career builder. Right Jermaine?

  6. You Must Love Karaoke

    No, actually, I hate karaoke because I have to listen to you sing.

  7. Can I Get On The List? Plus 1?

    You don’t have $10 to support my music, but you have $50 for the round of shots you just bought everyone?

  8. What’s Your Real Job?

    It’s this little field called music. It’s way more real than those TPS reports you put together for the Bobs.

  9. What’s Your Backup Plan

    What’s yours?

  10. It Will Be Great Exposure

    Meaning, it doesn’t pay. No thanks.

  11. I Have A Great Idea For A Song

    And I have a great idea on how you can fix my faucet better. But let’s keep these things to ourselves.

  12. Free Bird

    That stopped being funny in ’97.

 

Source: 12 Things You Should Never Say To a Musician | Digital Music News

Promoters: How it’s not being done

Annoyed-PicardI had a flight from Malaysia to Manila on Friday that I chose to be just in time to arrive at the airport, get picked up by the Missus and drive directly to my gig at The Electronica Festival. Everything was okay, although my flight had a delay of 45 minutes. Arriving there (the way to the venue already told lots about the venue itself) we immediately recognized that there weren’t a lot of people. No one was able to introduce me to anyone who was responsible for artists, I had to walk around for 20 minutes to find a DJ mate who was actually as lost as myself. We somehow got it managed to find our stage. Then there were no drinks for us, we were supposed to manage everything ourselves, including carrying cups of drinks from one bar 300 meters away from our stage, to have something to drink whilst performing. No one assisted us or gave us any comfort. In “exchange” I received like 400 texts from random (and unknown to me) people, “reminding” me of my performance on stage at 4AM. Actually, I started playing at 3.45AM already, but, of course, no one took notice of that, apart from some fans and fellow artists (thank you Emel and David) who enjoyed the set.

For some reason I started to feel really terrible like 1 hour into my set. Luckily the bathrooms were just behind the stage, so I went vomiting 2 times, but didn’t interrupt my set and tried to be as professional as I could. I think no one even noticed that I felt like shit. After my set, I randomly asked about who’s gonna pay out the talent fee, but no one was able to give a straight answer. To make a long story short: in the end I had to chase down responsible people for like half an hour and become VERY energetic, insisting on paying me my fee in full after a given performance. They tried to tell me that all would be paid out on Monday, but I stated that this is zero acceptable and not gonna happen, otherwise … you know what I mean. I can get very angry, and yes: intimidating, when I feel that someone tries to bullshit me.

After all, I can only hope my artist mates got/get a hold of their money and nothing more catastrophic happened. I texted one of the responsible persons afterwards to never contact or ask me again. I don’t want to work with totally unprofessional people. Go learn the business first, then organize events.

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Apple iPhone 6 & iOS 8 Fails: A Chronology

  1. U2 album stunt becomes a cake flying back into U2’s and Apple’s faces.
  2. iPhone 6 Plus — a $1000 device — bends (too) easily.
  3. iOS 8.0.1 update gets pulled back after release because of serious bugs.

To be expected next: free iPhone 6 Plus case that protects the phone from bending, or a new built of the device with another material than aluminium (or another aluminium).

This post gets updated whenever new things happen. Shouldn’t take long.

(Not mentioned here: #AntennaGate and #MapsGate of previous i-devives and OS’s)

Bendgate: Apple iPhone 6 Plus not a Hipster phone

Bend-gate: Apple iPhone 6 Plus found bending in pants pockets. Obviously, the new iPhone 6 Plus is not a Hipster phone, not made for tight pants.

I’m sure, those are the reasons (when you ask Apple fan-boys or Apple itself), and all of this is easily avoidable:

  • You’re sitting wrong.*
  • You wear the wrong pants.*
  • You enjoy the wrong activities.
  • It’s not a bug, it’s a feature: the bent phone.
  • Putting a smartphone in your pocket is irresponsible and reckless abuse.*
  • It happens to all smartphone of that size and an aluminium body.*
  • That’s what you get for carrying around a phone of that size. Get a purse or a murse to solve your problems.*
  • It only bends when only a nominal amount of force is applied.*

*Actual real comments read on the web.

Feel free to add your reasons, explanations, excuses in the comments below.

Apple has been contacted for comment. I’m sure they’ll come up with an amazing, awesome, incredible, fantastic and ground-breaking excuse. 😀

U2 & Apple: Probably The Biggest PR Stunt In The History Of The Music Industry

Bono reiterated that Apple bought Songs of Innocence to thank their users for their patronage, and that the band was appropriately compensated.

Of course they did. I said that in the moment I heard the news of Apple acting as a major label, because this is what major labels do: pre-paying for a deal like that, regardless of later royalties.

This is probably the biggest PR stunt in the history of the music industry.

My opinion? This is what brought the whole whole world of music into trouble in the first place (greed). I’m zero interested in listening to that album, and I won’t. I don’t give a fuck, to be precise. To me, Bono is nothing but a hypocrite, and a brilliant business man. As a musician I lost all respect.

“Songs Of Innocence” is exactly not this: innocent.

via Bono Talks ‘Songs of Innocence’, New Music in Letter to Fans | Rolling Stone.