The Story of Hans

When I first met Hans in 1978, I didn’t immediately grasp the depth of the scars history had etched into his life. He was a man of few words, whose eyes, however, spoke volumes—if one was willing to read them. Today, as the echoes of past mistakes threaten to be drowned out by the currents of right-wing ideology in Germany and Europe, I feel compelled to share his story. It’s not just the tale of a broken man but a warning and a plea to our collective memory.

Hans was born in 1926 in Mülheim an der Ruhr, in the industrial heartland of Germany, into a world still reeling from the scars of the First World War. The political and economic instability of the Weimar Republic shaped his early years, a time of turmoil that eventually laid the groundwork for one of the darkest chapters in human history. At 17, as the world plunged once more into the abyss of war, Hans was conscripted into the Wehrmacht and sent to the Eastern Front. There, in the icy grip of the Russian winter, he experienced the brutality of war in its most raw form.

The injury Hans sustained from a grenade, which tore away a large part of his lung, was just the beginning of a long ordeal. Captured by Soviet forces, Hans was transported to a prisoner of war camp in Siberia, a place synonymous with desolation and harshness. Despite his severe injury and the brutal environment, Hans clung to life with a tenacity that was both remarkable and heartrending. The cold, the hunger, the back-breaking labor—all left marks that never fully healed.

The war eventually ended, but Hans’ battle did not. The journey back to Germany was a slow and torturous process, fraught with bureaucratic hurdles and the physical challenges of his still-healing wounds. Upon his return, the joy of reunion with his family was overshadowed by the realization that he, and the nation itself, would never be the same.

His own father didn’t recognize him, and his death certificate already hung framed in the living room—a symbolic image of what the war had made of him: a man the world had already given up on.

The road to physical recovery was long and fraught with complications. The loss of a huge part of his lung meant that Hans would forever be short of breath, a constant reminder of the war’s impact on his body. Yet, it was the invisible wounds that proved harder to heal.

Hans eventually found work at AEG Kanis in Essen, where he worked as an auditor. Yet, the shadows of the past never left him. Alcohol became his constant companion, an attempt to numb the inner demons that haunted him at night. When AEG Kanis closed and Hans went into early retirement, he lost an important anchor in his life. The years that followed were marked by a slow but steady decline that culminated in his death from cirrhosis of the liver. The memories of the horrors he had witnessed and endured haunted him, leading him to seek solace in alcohol, a refuge that would eventually claim his life.

I accompanied Hans in his final years and witnessed how an incredibly strong man was slowly destroyed by his memories and alcohol. I heard only a few of his war stories, but each one deeply moved me and haunts me to this day. They were windows into a soul too deeply wounded to ever fully heal.

The journey of Hans from the moment of his grievous injury on the Eastern Front to his eventual return home is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit amidst the darkest of times. After the grenade tore away one of his lungs, Hans found himself not just battling for his life on the frozen battlefields but also facing a long and arduous path to recovery that would test his limits in every conceivable way.

I aim not only to tell Hans’ story but also to shine a light on the shadows that, decades later, threaten to spread across Europe once again. The resurgence of right-wing ideology, the increasing polarization of our society, and the allure of simple answers to complex questions are alarming parallels to the conditions that once paved the way for the rise of National Socialism.

We must not allow history to repeat itself. We need to keep the memories of people like Hans alive, not just as a monument to the horrors of war but as a warning against the dangers that arise when hatred and intolerance are allowed to flourish unchecked. I wish we could stand together for a world where the dignity of every individual is respected and where the horrors of the past are not forgotten but used as lessons for the future.

Hans’ story is one among many, but it stands as a testament to the countless fates destroyed by war and hatred. By telling it, we not only remember the suffering that was but also commit ourselves to working for a better, more peaceful future.

Hans was my stepfather.

He entered our lives when I was 5 years old. He was a complex character, yet absolutely reliable and a role model to me in many ways. Today, I realize what an incredible and decent person he was. He was only 66 years old when he passed away. He lived much longer than any doctor had predicted for him, and aside from the alcohol, he truly made the most out of this life. And he inspired a boy whose biological father was mostly absent.

I miss him dearly.

yellow tent under starry night

My 50 Simple Pleasures in Life

Life is a series of moments, some grand and some simple. While the grand moments often steal the spotlight, it’s the simple pleasures that really make my journey worthwhile. As someone who has lived in various corners of the world and experienced life’s many facets, I’ve come to appreciate these small joys most. They are the unsung heroes that add color to my days and warmth to my soul. Here’s a list of 50 simple pleasures – inspired by this – that make my life great.

  1. The first sip of morning coffee when my house is quiet.
  2. A long, hilly hike with breathtaking views.
  3. The sense of accomplishment after finishing a challenging project.
  4. The first cold beer on vacation.
  5. Walking through a snow-covered landscape, feeling the crunch under my boots.
  6. The smell of rain hitting hot asphalt.
  7. Pouring a glass of wine perfectly without spilling a drop.
  8. Hearing an old favorite song on the radio.
  9. The sound of wind rustling through the trees on a quiet day.
  10. A juicy ribeye steak fresh off the grill.
  11. The satisfaction of completing a difficult bikepacking route.
  12. Seeing a mountain range in the distance.
  13. A freshly cleaned E-Bike, ready for the next adventure.
  14. Sitting around a campfire, enjoying the natural surroundings.
  15. Finishing a good book and feeling content.
  16. A deep and meaningful conversation with friends.
  17. A clear night sky filled with stars.
  18. Nailing the perfect mix or master in my music studio.
  19. The earthy smell of freshly cut wood.
  20. A spontaneous bikepacking adventure.
  21. The joy of discovering a new hiking trail.
  22. A moment of genuine, natural gratitude.
  23. The feeling of heavy muscles after a good workout.
  24. Capturing a great photo or video during one of my outdoor activities.
  25. A moment of solitude, far away from crowds and noise.
  26. Strumming my guitar and losing myself in the music.
  27. The thrill of reaching a summit and looking out over the landscape.
  28. Discovering a new track that I can’t stop listening to.
  29. Watching a distant thunderstorm roll in.
  30. The feeling of freedom when I turn off my phone for a day.
  31. Diving into genealogy and connecting with my past.
  32. The rush of wind against my face as I bike downhill.
  33. Taking an unplanned detour and discovering something new.
  34. Watching the sunset and reflecting on the day.
  35. The satisfaction of fixing something that’s broken.
  36. The freedom of an open road and endless possibilities.
  37. Using an old tool that still works perfectly.
  38. Dipping my feet in a cold stream on a hot day.
  39. Writing with a pen that glides effortlessly on paper.
  40. Walking through morning fog when the world seems softer.
  41. The thrill of a fast E-Bike ride.
  42. The excitement of releasing a new music track.
  43. The first snowfall of the season.
  44. The smell of freshly brewed coffee filling my house.
  45. The satisfaction of solving a complex problem at work.
  46. The feeling of sand between my toes.
  47. The adrenaline rush from an extreme outdoor activity.
  48. The peacefulness of a deserted beach.
  49. The joy of cooking a new recipe to perfection.
  50. The comfort of my favorite old sweatshirt.

While the list is personal, I believe that the essence of these joys is universal. They remind us to pause, to breathe, and to savor the small moments that often go unnoticed. In a world that’s increasingly complex and demanding, these simple pleasures are my sanctuary, my moments of zen.

I hope you find your own simple pleasures that make your journey just as rewarding.

red and orange galaxy illustration

Why I’m a Pantheist. And What About My Album “GOD”?

From my earliest memories, the universe has always been a source of profound fascination. The night sky, a tapestry of stars and cosmic wonder, seemed to pose questions that penetrated the very core of my being. My quest for answers led me through various domains – religion, philosophy, and empirical science. Yet, none offered the holistic understanding I yearned for. That is, until I discovered Pantheism.

At its core, Pantheism is a worldview that is both elegantly simple and profoundly deep: the universe and everything within it is divine. But let’s clarify what I mean by “divine,” as it’s a term often misunderstood. For me, divinity is not about an anthropomorphic God sitting on a celestial throne. I’m an atheist in that regard, finding no logical or empirical basis for such a deity. Instead, my sense of the divine is rooted in the inherent order that permeates the universe – an order that allows for the existence and functioning of all things.

This divine order is not a set of commandments but a natural, self-organizing system that can be observed in everything from the laws of physics to the complexity of biological systems. It’s the reason why planets orbit stars, why ecosystems maintain their balance, and why we, as conscious beings, can ponder our place in the cosmos. This order is the closest thing to “God” in my Pantheistic view, and it’s an understanding that fills me with awe and wonder.

When I first encountered the concept of quantum entanglement, it felt like a scientific affirmation of this divine order. Here were particles, separated by vast distances, yet intrinsically connected in a way that defied classical understanding. It was as if the universe itself was giving a nod to the Pantheistic idea of interconnectedness, an inherent feature of this divine order.

The first law of thermodynamics further resonated with my Pantheistic beliefs. This law, stating that energy cannot be created or destroyed but only transformed, seemed like another expression of this divine order. It’s a principle that can be observed in the water cycle, where water evaporates, forms clouds, and returns as rain, never being destroyed but merely changing form. This eternal cycle of energy and matter is a testament to the inherent order that governs all things.

The cyclical nature of the universe, as suggested by theories like the Big Bang and the Big Crunch, also aligns with this view. These theories propose a universe in a constant cycle of birth, expansion, and eventual contraction, mirroring the eternal cycles that are a cornerstone of Pantheistic thought and another manifestation of this divine order.

The concept of emergence, where complex systems arise from the interactions of simpler entities, offers yet another glimpse into this inherent order. Consider a termite mound: each termite contributes to a complex, self-regulating system, a microcosm of the divine order that I see as permeating the universe at all levels.

Fractals, with their infinitely complex patterns that are self-similar across scales, serve as a beautiful metaphor for this divine order. Whether it’s the branching of trees, the course of rivers, or the structure of our lungs, these fractal patterns are a testament to the inherent order that underlies all existence.

So, why am I a Pantheist? Because Pantheism offers a framework that harmonizes the spiritual with the scientific. It provides a lens through which the mysteries and realities of existence can be explored and appreciated. In embracing Pantheism, I’ve found a spiritual home that satisfies my intellectual curiosity, fills my soul with a sense of divine wonder, and aligns perfectly with my atheistic rejection of a traditional deity. For me, Pantheism is not just a belief; it’s a profound understanding of the divine order that makes us, and everything around us, a part of this wondrous cosmos.

The Irony of “God”: My Musical Perspective

Now, you might be wondering about my album titled “GOD.” I have never explained this. This is a first.

Contrary to what the title might suggest, it’s not a religious work. In fact, it’s quite the opposite – it’s a satire, a commentary on how religious teachings, particularly those surrounding figures like Jesus, have been misunderstood and distorted over time.

I have immense respect for Jesus as a historical figure. He was a revolutionary who preached love, tolerance, and understanding in a time when such ideas were radical. However, I believe that his messages have been twisted and turned into something he never intended. My album “God” aims to poke fun at this religious misinterpretation while also shedding light on how I see the divine order that governs the universe.

Back then I have been accused of blasphemy and even been threatened by religious fanatics.

In the album, I explore themes that resonate with my Pantheistic beliefs, using music as a medium to express the inherent order and interconnectedness that I see in the cosmos. It’s my way of challenging conventional religious thought and encouraging listeners to consider a more harmonious and scientifically coherent understanding of divinity.

So, when you listen to “GOD,” know that it’s not an homage to a deity in the sky but a musical journey that invites you to question, explore, and ultimately find your own understanding of the divine order that makes this universe so incredibly awe-inspiring.