I set up this tumblr blog — out of fun — a few months ago to take Trump’s use of language ad absurdum (he mostly uses superlatives, I call them “Trumperlatives”). His superlative-soaked tweets get auto-posted on this blog. Which is almost every single tweet he posts.
The blog has 1,200 followers, with about 30 daily added. None of the 1,200 people understand the meaning of the blog, but alarmingly, all 1,200 think the blog would exist to honor Trump. The tagline even says:
A very good blog honoring the terrific and most amazing superlatives (that God has ever created) tweeted by Donald Trump in an absolute tremendous way. You have never seen anything like this before. It’s great!
But you still don’t get it, or anything, probably. Have you found your dick this morning?
To all 1,200 and following: you are wrong. I make fun of “your president,” and thus a little bit of his electorate, you. You don’t realize that. Your dumbness is hard to put into words.
I am a musician. Not trying. Trying to be a musician is watching the first YouTube video on how to hold a guitar. Not what I have done for the past 15 years. That is BEING a musician.
You Sound Like…
I know you’re trying to be nice by putting me in good company, but musicians want to feel original. We don’t want to hear we sound like everyone else. That we’re unoriginal. It’s fine for you to sell your friends on listening to someone new by comparing them to well known artists, but when talking to a musician, the best compliment is “you sound like YOU and it’s awesome.” Unless you’re talking to a pop producer, then yeah, “it sounds like Katy Perry” is probably the best compliment you could give.
You Should Try Out For American Idol
I will slap you.
When Am I Going To Hear You On The Radio?
When your radio plays better shit.
You Should Be On The Voice
Because that’s a career builder. Right Jermaine?
You Must Love Karaoke
No, actually, I hate karaoke because I have to listen to you sing.
Can I Get On The List? Plus 1?
You don’t have $10 to support my music, but you have $50 for the round of shots you just bought everyone?
What’s Your Real Job?
It’s this little field called music. It’s way more real than those TPS reports you put together for the Bobs.
What’s Your Backup Plan
It Will Be Great Exposure
Meaning, it doesn’t pay. No thanks.
I Have A Great Idea For A Song
And I have a great idea on how you can fix my faucet better. But let’s keep these things to ourselves.